I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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