It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
