so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
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You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
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I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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