She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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