he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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