it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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