Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??