Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm laying in your front yard are you home

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  (810): I'm laying in your front yard are you home http://tfl.nu/8whw
  Replies (4) Good night (1371) Bad night (496)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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  (862): Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/hfa7
  Replies (40) Good night (2166) Bad night (3084)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Aren't you in 8th grade?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  9th, but that's not the point.

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  (502): I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school.. (1-502): Aren't you in 8th grade? (502): 9th, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/te0g
  Replies (104) Good night (5717) Bad night (3748)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.

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  (803): i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright. http://tfl.nu/lklv
  Replies (39) Good night (6923) Bad night (1667)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.

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  (303): At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends. (1-303): At about the same time you guys weren't burritos. http://tfl.nu/mxci
  Replies (27) Good night (7990) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine

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  (443): like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine http://tfl.nu/b7i2
  Replies (2) Good night (2770) Bad night (777)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?

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  (412): in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila? http://tfl.nu/e4mt
  Replies (7) Good night (3381) Bad night (848)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was

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  (201): at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was http://tfl.nu/89k6
  Replies (21) Good night (3315) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well

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  (518): we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well http://tfl.nu/pd1v
  Replies (5) Good night (1360) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.

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  (574): I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child. http://tfl.nu/o0ig
  Replies (8) Good night (1795) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.

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  (314): I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise. http://tfl.nu/47tp
  Replies (13) Good night (2033) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death

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  (919): All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death http://tfl.nu/2w0w
  Replies (4) Good night (327) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.

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  (616): Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me. http://tfl.nu/rp8b
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?

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  (605): Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night? http://tfl.nu/gtih
  Replies (6) Good night (429) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?

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  (208): Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess? http://tfl.nu/auqt
  Replies (6) Good night (739) Bad night (194)

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