Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
