Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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