I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Two words: nipple clamps
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