I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I want a musical about memes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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