Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
