Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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