I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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