They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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