bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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