Dual....:-)
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
