Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
