I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
