wrigley field is MILF paradise
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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