I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
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The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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