Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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