Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
