Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
