I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
