There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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