Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
