it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
