It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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