also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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