I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
