Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
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She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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