Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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