toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
is this the sara with the beer cane?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
