It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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