If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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