AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
