Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
