I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
