im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
