office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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