Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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