I seem to have left my pride at pride
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
