im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
