Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
