Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
