Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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