I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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