YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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