when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
