apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
