u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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