Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize