I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize