did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Welp...herpes.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
