Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You can't just leave with hair like that
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
