I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
