I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
