oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
